#also dont mind the cheese thing

[emry-stars-art]

heya, I noticed for your fic 'Stay Where I Can Reach' you tagged dissociative personality disorder and was wondering if you mean dissociative identity disorder (DID) or depersonalization/derealization disorder (DPDR)? dissociative personality disorder is not a term I'm familiar with

thanks!!

Hiiii sorry I'm late!!

Short answer: I did purposefully tag it as personality disorder rather than identity disorder! For "as per my research" reasons mainly.

Long answer: I gave Andrew a more general dissociative disorder, bc DID is its own thing that would require me to do even more research than I already have 😅 The aim wasn't to give Andrew separate parts/alters with total amnesia between them - he's still a singlet, with one identity/part in his head. It's just that the one part has dissociative symptoms like other trauma disorders, even if it's more 'intense' than in some other cases.

When I was doing this initial research I found somewhere that dissociative personality disorder is a separate disgnosis from DID/OSDD? And it described what I was going for for that Andrew? I'm not gonna say that's 100% the end all be all, because hell if I know lol you may be right! Depersonalization or derealization disorder could in fact be the real term and just I found an outdated source/misread things. I might've accidentally used an umbrella term rather than a specific diagnosis or something. I could go back and refigure out the whole thing but I gotta be honest. I don't have a lot of extra energy or space or put toward it atm, but maybe if anyone thinks its worth a re-look I might put it on my list

[yulgurr]

blorblo bleebus :]

she forgor

[toytulini]

starting the day off Wrong with. nerds gummy clusters for breakfast,

[rippk3s]

I just want to eat and munch i want to see my girlfriend, she went away for 2 million decades (3 days)

[the-acid-pear]

Damon has died. Badly.

[tgcg]

argument

its a big one

TG: alright this is probably a bust

TG: more i think about it how the fuck do you even make a marinara

TG: can i even alchemise cheese or do i gotta like alchemise the milk and curdle it myself

TG: how do you even curdle

====================

TG: make a goddamn

TG: curgler

TG: whatever

TG: internet archive gonna pull through

====================

CG: ALRIGHT DAVE

TG: shit

====================

CG: YOU BETTER BACK THE FUCK OFF. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IN BULGEMUNCHING VIRULENT FUCK YOU GET THE IDEA YOU HAVE ANY RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD THINK ABOUT MY OWN GODDAMN PLANET. SORRY TO HAVE TO DEAL A BLOW TO YOUR IMPOSSIBLY INFLATED FUCKING EGO, BUT HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT YOUR SIDE-EYE SLACKJAW HOPELESS DEADPAN BULLSHIT BEHAVIOUR IS ACTUALLY INCREDIBLY FUCKING CONTEMPTIBLE AND DOESN'T PUT YOU ABOVE OTHER PEOPLE? HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT?

CG: OR DID YOU JUST ASSUME FROM THE MOMENT YOU FOUND OUT I'M A REVOLTING FUCKING MUTANT LOWBLOOD FREAK THAT I'M SUDDENLY NOT ALLOWED TO LIKE THE IDEA OF MY LIFE MEANING SOMETHING AT SOME POINT?

TG: okay you are wildly misquoting me where the fuck did that come from

TG: also you scared the hell out of me

TG: im just trying to science some pizza here

====================

CG: OKAY THEN, DAVE! EXPLAIN TO ME AS WELL AS YOUR AMBLING ONE-NOTE SMOOTH EXCUSE FOR A 'THOUGHT'SPONGE CAN

CG: IN SOMEWHAT COHERENT TERMS, ALTHOUGH I KNOW THAT'S A TALL ORDER:

CG: HOW YOU SAYING MY ADOLESCENT DREAMS OF BECOMING A THRESHECUTIONER ARE "FUCKED UP AND IRONIC IN A NASTY ASS WAY" DOESN'T QUALIFY AS UNDERHANDEDLY KICKING ME IN THE MANDIBLE PRONGS!

CG: YOUR AUDIENCE AWAITS YOU WITH BATED BREATH! TAKE IT AWAY, M.C. BRAIN HEMORRHAGE.

====================

TG: okay i dont

TG: know how you got a hold of that phrasing because i said that shit in confidence

TG: get out of my business bro

CG: NEWSFLASH, ASSHOLE: THIS METEOR IS A PHYSICAL, LITERAL LOCATION WE'RE BOTH IN. IT'S NOT A FUCKING PRIVATE CHATROOM. THIS MIGHT BLOW YOUR PITIFUL MIND BUT PEOPLE CAN ACTUALLY HEAR OTHER PEOPLE TALK WHEN THEY HAVE TO SHARE A SPACE! BRO!

TG: ugh

====================

CG: AND IT'S VERY INTERESTING YOU ACCUSE ME OF MISQUOTING YOU, AND THEN SUDDENLY TURN AND SPOUT FROM THAT SHITTY DRONING GROANSHAFT OF YOURS THAT I'M INVADING YOUR PRIVACY WHEN I DIRECTLY QUOTE YOUR SMARMY LITTLE SHAMEGLOBES!

CG: WOW! TURNS OUT KARKAT IS ACTUALLY BEING GENUINELY FUCKING UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING — WHO KNEW, RIGHT? WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE GENUINE COMPLAINTS TO LEVEL AGAINST THE PEOPLE WHO GO SPOUTING HOOFBEASTSHIT ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK TO THEIR ECTOSIBLINGS?

TG: no dude can you shut up a second

CG: I MOST CERTAINLY FUCKING WILL, THANKS FOR THE OFFER! I'M NEVER TELLING YOU A GODDAMN THING AGAIN, SO I HOPE YOU MANAGE TO GAIN SOME WRINKLES TO THAT VESTIGIAL FLAWLESS ORB FLOATING AROUND IN YOUR CAVERNOUS NUGBONE FROM ALL THIS. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH ALL THE EFFORT ON YOUR END.

TG: listen!!!!

====================

CG: MHM! MY AURICULAR CHAMBERS ARE WIDE OPEN!

TG: jegus

TG: okay

TG: i have no defense for my literal phrasing but how expeditiously did you shadowstep the fuck away after i said that

TG: because that is some shrek tier "princess and ugly dont go together" level misrepresentation of my sweet self

TG: like if this wasnt obviously a heated platonic argument we were having i would probably be digging what the reference even if it was a shitty trope

====================

TG: i just

TG: have been thinking about some things and none of those things have got an iota of a thing to do with you or your blood

TG: thing

TG: man

TG: i dont know why you think id be so pressed about your vein juice its like

TG: a normal ass color for a normal ass guy

TG: and obviously it was a major fucking deal from how you talk about it but it doesnt need to be anymore

====================

TG: the thing is i just dont like have the same attitude as you about fighting and stuff and thats not something i am getting into right now but i am gonna make it expressly clear

TG: that its just kind of fucked up for me to sit my ass down and listen to someone spew gold and medals and confetti colored shit going googoo all over tall and loathsome ass bloodletters he never knew

TG: and have him tell me he wants to be the best guy at combat since samurai fuckin jack

TG: and thats my capital B business believe me the emphasis is there

====================

CG: SO IS THIS ABOUT ME WANTING TO BE PART OF SOMETHING YOU DON'T AGREE WITH? BECAUSE THRESHECUTIONERS DON'T EVEN FUCKING EXIST ANYMORE. I LITERALLY COULD NOT DO THIS IF I TRIED AT THIS POINT, SO YOU CAN UNKNOT YOUR “KNIGHTY WHITIES” ABOUT IT.

TG: being anti-military is not my point but damn if it isnt a thing thats probably true anyways so good job sleuthing that out

CG: WHAT IS YOUR POINT, DAVE.

TG: bluh

TG: i just said i dont wanna talk about it man

====================

CG: OKAY,

====================

CG: OKAY.

CG: I MEAN. IT FEELS KIND OF IMPORTANT TO THE CONTEXT OF THIS WHOLE UNAMBIGUOUSLY PLATONIC ARGUMENT WE'VE BEEN HAVING

CG: WHICH I'M RELIEVED WE AGREE ON BY THE WAY

CG: BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO KNOW I'M NOT GOING TO WRING IT OUT OF YOU. IT'S FINE.

====================

CG: …IF YOU DECIDE AT SOME POINT THAT YOU WANT TO TELL ME THOUGH, MY RUMBLE VESSELS ARE STILL OPEN.

TG: i swear youre making those up on the spot at this point

CG: I'M KEEPING MY LANGUAGE'S ART ALIVE, DAVE. IT'S BASIC DECENCY TO THE PLANET THAT RAISED ME.

TG: heh

====================

TG: yknow we got these things called anatomical snuffboxes

TG: its got that right amount of vague nose wrinklage to it that i feel like youd be right at home saying that

TG: snug as a grub even

CG: WHAT PART IS THAT???

TG: its that little weird bone bit that sticks out on the back of your palm when you flex your thumb right

====================

TG: look

CG: HUH. LOOKING AT THAT IS KIND OF WIGGING ME OUT.

TG: yeah its kinda gross rose told me about it

TG: but anyways

====================

TG: are we cool

CG: I MEAN… I GUESS SO. YOU WEREN'T ACTUALLY INSULTING ME, RIGHT?

TG: hell no dude never

CG: OKAY. I COMPLETELY RESCIND THE MYRIAD OF WAYS I JUST INSULTED YOU. AND I'M SORRY.

TG: nah i know its just fluff at this point

====================

CG: I STILL DON'T APPRECIATE YOU TELLING ROSE THINGS I SAY TO YOU IN CONFIDENCE. THAT WAS BETWEEN YOU, ME, AND MY NOW NON-EXISTENT HOME PLANET ROTTING AWAY TO A CRATERED GRAY HUSK IN ANOTHER DEAD UNIVERSE.

TG: i swear that was like the only thing its just that she gets it and i cant keep my mouth from going on about the gettable stuff

TG: they call me the babbling brook the way my flows so audible

TG: i wont do it again

CG: NO,

====================

CG: I GET IT HONESTLY.

CG: I'M BASICALLY THE NUMBER ONE PROPRIETOR OF AIRED GRIEVANCES IN ALL OF PARADOX SPACE AND THEN SOME, AND I'D ALSO BECOME ITS BIGGEST HYPOCRITE IF I HELD IT AGAINST YOU.

TG: thanks

TG: but i mean

TG: at the gigantic risk of sounding uh

====================

TG: ………..

CG: ?

====================

TG: well

TG: i kinda just think youre better at being a guy to chill out and watch movies with than a guy to tangle fists with

TG: and i dont think theres anything wrong with being that

TG: i think its cool

====================

CG: …THAT'S AN ALARMINGLY BRAZEN OBSERVATION TO MAKE OF SOMEONE YOU'VE KNOWN FOR ABOUT THE SPAN OF SEVEN SEASONAL EQUINOXES, DAVE.

TG: i dont know what that means but it sure is probably

CG: AM I ALLOWED TO ASK WHAT EVEN GIVES YOU THAT IMPRESSION????

TG: i just got that inkling about you man

====================

TG: and you can do whatever you want with that info

TG: throw it in the load gaper or whatever if you want i dont really care

TG: give it a swirly and slam it in a locker call it a nerd break its glasses whatever

TG: but beyond this whole lord english thing weve got going on i am pretty content to never aggress my fellow man slash alien slash monster again if i can help it

TG: i think thats pretty fair given what thats been like so far

====================

TG: and yknow its cool to have some company when im waxing emotional over the narrative depth of click starring adam sandler which we are watching next by the way

CG: UGH, FIIIIIIIIINE. JUST TO MAKE UP FOR CALLING YOUR THINKPAN SMOOTH AND SUPERFLUOUS.

====================

TG: score

TG: we should argue all the time

CG: SNRK

[lightnotyagami]

"Do you think you'll kill for me one day?"

"Yes, of course i will my dear."

Light x fem reader (soft) smut

A/n:remeber when L put cameras into lights room? When i was like 14 or 15 i read a smut FF like this and OH MY GOD its still in my head. Coudnt find the ogs @ but if i ever do ilysm🙏 (it was on ao3 if anyone wants to help me find it😭)

Summary: L puts cameras into lights room.. great.. but what do normal people his age do? Hang out with friends, do homework.. and some other things.

Tw/cw: my horrible english, soft smut (duh) , being watched, tell me if i missed anything!!

"Are we seriously going to do this?" You asked him still in a safe distance from his house. "Yeah, wanna back out?" He said as he looked at you like you were stupid. "No! I'm just saying, I don't know about the whole... thing." You voiced as he answered with a shrug like what you said wasn't a big deal to him. "Look," he said walking towards you with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "I'll take care of it, okay? you just relax and lay down." Your mind went crazy thinking about all the things that could go wrong. "So, are you in yes or no?" He stopped right in front of you and looked directly into your eyes. His face was close enough for you to smell the mint from his breath. 'It felt different being so close to someone, I mean I didn't feel threatened by his appearance, just like when we were fighting but this time I could see how beautiful he really is...' you thought to yourself "fine." "Good girl."

*later in his room*

'64 cameras.' you thought to yourself as you sat yourself on the bed and light on his chair. "hey light!" the door was shot open revealing his little sister, sayu was her name? "mom asked if you want anything from the supermarkt, oh and does Y/n want something too?" she asked now looking at you "oh no dear its fine! you two make yourselves a great day" you answered. "Okay, dont be mad then if we dont bring extra snacks" she winked at making your laugh slightly. 'i wish i had a younger sister' you thought to yourself "okay mom says bye." Sayu said closing the door behind her, leaving only you and light. oh and the 64 cameras from every angle of course. The lights were dimmed making everything look more mysterious. "you want anything?" Light asked turning around to look at you. "no... thanks its okay." you answered looking at the ground embarassed as he sat besides you ."it's alright babe, come sit over here." he patted on his lap. You slowly moved your legs closer to him sitting on his lap. he pulled you closer so that your head was on his chest and his arms were wrapped around you. Everything was going after Plan but why did this still feel so..weird? you dont know if L is the only one watching this. you could only hope. you closed your eyes trying enjoying his touch and warmth as he kissed you softly. "let me show you something, babe." you hummed in response. His fingers which were playing with the ends of your hair slowly moved up to your body . "your heart is beating so fast" he whispered in your ear, causing you to shiver slightly. It sent an electrical jolt through your spine, it was almost painful but good. your heart started hammering in your chest as he pushed your t-shirt up exposing your bra and sofly pushing you down on the bed climbing on top of you. you moaned as he started kissing you softly on your neck, moving it from side to side, leaving small red marks "l-light~!" you whined not sure what to do as he started to unhook your bra , slowly peeling it off your body.

*at the headquarters*

"mister Soichiro Yagami, i belive you would like to leave the room?" L said as soichiro looked at the computers not sure if to ignore this ever happaned or to kill light when hes back home. "yes im sorry i just.." he said as he walked out of the room in complete shock that his son was capable of these things. "anyways. Im bluring the cameras now. Watari unblur them when this is done and a cheese cake would also be nice "

[axellis]

good morning im politely requesting people look at my post abt how the ancients see each other

under the cut some closeups + a ton of additional thoughts

hollyberry + golden cheese are also part of the crew of 'thinking pv is a bit naive', but he's also the most emotionally intelligent out of all of them and incredibly empathetic and thats something they both respect a whole lot .

dark cacao on the flipside can see how much of a mental toll being empathetic can be

white lily seems to have the most "whole" thought of pv - which would make sense, she's been with him the longest and has seen every facet that is pv. but even still her worries that he's too trusting of her are eating away at her thoughts- as such a pv shapeshifter made of her subconscious Would be way more naive .

in my head white lily's pv would be the last shapeshifter and in order to tell the difference between them white lily would ask if he ever doubted her . the real pv would say that he definitely struggled and had been lost and confused- but ultimately trusts her above all else . vs the shapeshifter who would just say "no I'd never doubt you" .

i didnt have room for it but i think dark cacao also recognizes hollyberrys seriousness . if you get drunk with someone enough times you'll start to piece together the really vulnerable moments you had with eachother . i think hollyberry and dark cacao have the closest relationship and im not saying this because im in love with both of them

golden cheese has a bit of a recollection issue and you can see that with hollyberry + cacao the most. golden cheese reminisces a Lot and that affects how she remembers the othera . hollyberrys is a bit of a trickier thing but in this instance golden cheese doesnt remember the braids. she knows hollyberry has a different outfit than before but doesn't pay it much mind

you might have noticed the pattern at this point of pure vanilla having a bit of a cutesy interpretation of all the ancients. he loves his friends so much that he has a bit of a harder time being critical of them. he thinks dark cacaos seriousness/grumpiness is endearing. to be honest its partly an inverse of shadow milks interpretation of the ancients (simple and positive vs simple and negative) but that wasnt entirely intentional. just interesting to notate now that im thinking of it

hollyberrys dark cacao is a bit of an inverse also to what i was talking about with dark cacaos hollyberry . shes seen the sweeter more heartfelt side of dark cacao and that shines through to her

if it wasnt for the outfit + hair, golden cheese's dark cacao would have probably been the last shape shifter standing

and i will stand by the dragon cacao headcanon till the day i die

golden cheese's was fun to think about bc of the little details that are different between the different shapeshifters- specifically in the neck area (bc thays the only portion you guys get to see) . dark cacaos is a bit more of a hanbok style, white lily has a turtleneck thing kind of happening, etc etc. i think pure vanilla has the most accurate idea of what she looks like .

i think white lilys interestingly enough would be the last one standing because i honestly dont think her golden cheese would even be talking with her :(( so we'd only really find out the difference when white lily's gc is forced to talk to her . white lily thinks that gc hates her and wants her gone but golden cheese's feelings are wayy wayyy more complicated. golden cheese doesn't want white lily gone she Is glad that she's back but its also hard. everything she loves is gone right now . but she's going to find a way to get it back- and if white lily can help than maybe that'll rekindle their relationship.

the cuteification beam still reaches for white lily despite how much pv knows her . i doubt this would help with white lilys feelings that pv is being naive bc shes looking at a shapeshifter based off of pvs subconscious and that subconscious is showing so mucy nostalgia it probably hurts

hollyberry in the past probably really babied white lily + pure vanilla because she Knows theyre not eating . shes observant as hell and will always demand they have at least one bite of something in order to figure out if they're Really "not hungry".

the last one would probably land on golden cheese's bc again . her feelings are complicated and as such her subconscious would showcase that multifaceted issue of "knowing this is your friend and also knowing your friend is responsible for your kingdoms destruction".

[smute]

random hill to die on and i could honestly make a 3 hour viddy essay about this but here's the short version: "save some pasta water for binding your sauce" is probably one of the most misunderstood cooking tips ever. yes, its an old trick and yes, its something that can be helpful under very specific circumstances but at this point almost every pasta recipe i come across seems to mention some variation of it and in most cases it's complete nonsense.

firstable, let me explain where it doesnt work: adding pasta water to a random sauce (tomato for instance) will not make it thicker. whatever miniscule amount of starch you're gonna have in there wont make a difference when you're also adding ladlefuls of water at the same time. its pasta water not cornstarch slurry. and thats not something you want in your tomato sauce anyway. tomato paste is an excellent emulsifier all on its own (along with egg yolks, mustard, butter, cream, milk, and many other dairy products) so in order to thicken a tomato-based sauce you have exactly two options: evaporation or more tomato paste, which basically amounts to the same thing: less water, more everything else.

pasta water on the other hand can be useful for diluting a sauce (tomato or otherwise) that has been cooked down too much. while adding wine or juices (or just plain water) for deglazing makes sense at the beginning of the cooking process, watery things added to an almost finished sauce will simply... water it down (duh) and (in the case of wine, vinegar, etc) introduce unwanted raw flavors. there's also a good chance that cold liquids won't mix well with the sauce and ruin the consistency. for this, broth works very well, but pasta water would be a more neutral option flavor-wise. the salt and temperature honestly make the biggest difference here. plus, pasta water is something you're probably gonna have on hand anyway as you will likely be boiling your pasta shortly before serving.

the same goes for loosening any other emulsion, like an emulsified butter sauce or carbonara for example. this shouldn't be necessary but if your egg and cheese mixture clings to the pasta a little too much and everything just clumps together, a small (!!!) amount of pasta water can help the sauce reach a creamier consistency without diluting the overall flavor too much.

however. the Pasta Water Trick (TM) that everyone talks about but so few recipes seem to get right goes like this: you finish cooking your pasta in the sauce and you also add a little bit of pasta water to that mixture. a single cooked spaghetto will probably yield more starch than an entire cup of pasta water, and cooking your starchy pasta for a minute (or just tossing it) in the finished sauce will make a huge difference for the consistency. that alone can be enough, you can stop right there. but now you run the risk of binding too much liquid. this is where the pasta water comes in. it's hot, salty, starchy, and it's right there on the stove, so it's perfect for making sure your sauce doesn't disappear completely. THATS ALL

btw. all of this works a lot better with fresh pasta and a lower water to pasta ratio. fresh pasta gives off more starch than dried pasta, and it works even better with homemade pasta that's still covered in flour. the cloudier the water the better.

in any case, pasta water = a little bit of starch + a whole lot of water (and salt). thats why it only makes sense to use it in situations where you need both the starch AND the extra liquid (and salt) or if you know that you'll evaporate most of it later on. think of pasta water as a better alternative to cold water or as something that you can use when you dont have any other cooking liquids on hand. and always keep the salt in mind.

tl;dr: pasta water can be a useful tool for emulsification but if anything it's a thinning agent rather than a thickening agent.

[milkbreadtoast]

Hey guys random but I wanna share this spinach pasta recipe I improvised the other day bc it's really east and tasty and a nice way to eat my greens... I've eaten it for the last several meals lol

sauce recipe (1 serving)

fresh spinach several(3?) handfuls (blended with sauce)

oat milk ~1/3 c (or a diff unsweetened milk)

small pat of butter(flavor) + 3 spoonfuls olive oil

lots of black pepper + couple shakes garlic powder (or minced garlic)

tiny pat of miso/deonjang (if u dont have it, just add more cheese, or some salt to taste)

Lots of pecorino romano or parmesan cheese (or both)

+

more handfuls spinach to eat w pasta whole, opt (several/3 handfuls; keep in mind spinach shrinks a lot when cooked) (cooked in microwave, with sauce liquid)

more cheese, black pepper, parsley etc for serving

Note: need a blender to make the spinach sauce green. I used a small bullet blender. If you don't have a blender, just cook and eat the spinach pieces whole alongside the pasta instead of blending it w the sauce, like an alfredo cream sauce.

With whole spinach pieces:

>combine sauce ingred in tall, microwave safe bowl except spinach & cheese; microwave 30 sec to melt butter/miso and mix thoroughly

>add several handfuls of spinach to the sauce liquid; this is the whole spinach pieces.

>cover + microwave for 1 min /until the spinach leaves are completely wilted and tender but still green

if u dont have a blender you'd be done here (microwave longer to reduce, add more cheese/oil to make it thicker, etc)

>add 2-3 handfuls fresh spinach into bullet blender and pour in most of the sauce liquid; Blend until fully broken down into a creamy green sauce. (add a splash more milk if it's not blending)

>combine w rest of sauce in the bowl; add cheese and microwave 30+ sec more uncovered (*i add cheese at the end bc it's harder to blend with the spinach)

Without whole spinach pieces (just green sauce): combine all sauce ingred Including spinach into bullet blender; blend until fully combined; transfer to bowl & microwave 1 min + longer as needed to reduce (uncovered)

Pasta:

> boil pasta in salted water according to directions (go a min under and test if its cooked, for al dente pasta)

> drain + return to pot, add the sauce + stir

note: if doing this method u can also make the sauce in the same pot instead of using a microwave; after draining the pasta, leave it in strainer, and make the sauce in the same pot and simmer... turn up the heat to boil + reduce as desired, then add the pasta back in and stir until hot. (If i was making a bigger portion for multiple ppl i'd prob do this)

USING LEFTOVER COOKED PASTA (this is what i did, bc i had made a lot of pasta a few days ago, and had the leftovers stored in fridge):

> microwave pasta by itself in a bowl/plate for 1 min, covered

> add the hot sauce on top of hot pasta (microwave first if it's not hot enough)

(^i microwave sauce + pasta separately to ensure the pasta stays al dente btw... if u microwave sauce with pasta it gets soft)

(If making large batches ahead I'd store the pasta and sauce separately for the same reason... I'd prob do the same thing I did, make a large batch of pasta and then make the sauce right before eating... I just hate soft pasta tho so if u dont then dw abt it🫡 lol)

> Top w extra cheese, black pepper, parsley and serve/eat immediately!!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can we possibly have platonic fluff scenario with the bishops and a kid reader

Like one of their followers have or found a kid and they helped look after them and realized they generally like being a parental/sibling figure It generally depends on who

bishops x kid!reader (platonic)

shorter post since my hands arent cooperating with typing right now RAAAAHRAAAAAH!!! notes: reader is gn and age isnt specified but its written with a younger kid in mind, can be seen as any animal cws: none

LESHY

more like a brother than a father to you- does not have the guidance or experience necessary to raise a kid, though he will still try to put you on the right path

plays light pranks on you- if this were a human au he would be the type to wake you up for school on a saturday

the type to feed you shredded cheese as a meal/hj, does not know what kids eat or like to eat

not reckless with you but its clear that his methods are a little... all over the place

HEKET

mix of big sister and mom vibes, it really depends on whats going on in the moment

wont fight a kid who bullies you but boy is she going to give the parents the biggest stink eye

doesnt spoil you like kallamar, but shes not going to be strict with you

lets you go with her to her temple, for whatever duties she needs to get done... answers any questions you may have about what exactly she does as a bishop- dont let her short or gruff responses fool you! shes proud of her work and enjoys that you think shes cool!

KALLAMAR

he spoils you, cannot say no to you- youre also the best dressed kid in the cult, decked out with the newest robes and crystals

worries about you a lot though, treats every scraped knee like you need an amputation

keeps those feelings to himself though, because he doesnt want to freak you out, truly one of the last things he wants

has experience as a sibling but shamura did a lot of the support and upbringing with the other three, so kallamar is learning as he goes- sometimes asks shamura for some advice

SHAMURA

god it brings back some memories and feelings from when their siblings were younger- already has the experience needed to take care of a child

so gentle with you, though theyre firm to make sure you dont get into any trouble

always save some time at the end of the day to check on you before you go to sleep

speaking of i can see them reading stories to you- sure they may not be all that interesting to someone your age but they like making sure youre learning at least something.. more than thrilled if you seem interested in the stories and info they tell

[bakiuwu]

The Odd Traits Of A Hanma

This is a silly idea that I've decided to turn into a little series, based on a hc of mine that Baki,Jack, and Yujiro all have similar traits due to their Hanma blood, despite all of them being different. This fic is kinda like a case study if you, the reader, were in some type of relationship with one of the three and what odd behaviors you would experience with each Hanma.

The following traits you will experience with each Hanma are:

Staring problems

Unnerving sleeping patterns

Accidental stalking

-------------------------------------------------------

Staring problems:

All Hanmas have staring problems, Hanma's like to stare at someone who their interested in/in love with. Either if it's innocent, unconsciously, or intentional. All three hanma have this issue, but each of them have their own way of displaying this odd behavior ----------------------------------------------------

First Subject

Baki Hanma:

While being with baki, you may experience a habit of him staring at you. maybe while you're reading a book or doing the dishes, you can feel the soft but heavy gaze coming from the less threatening Hanma as he sits in the living room. You're able to sense his eyes following your every movement. At first, you dont mind when he does it. You think it's cute, honestly.

Him being enamored by your very existence of doing the most mundane things. Wanting to watch your every step, It made you feel special in a way. Like his eyes were only made for you. One day, while cleaning in the kitchen, you came up with the idea to stare back at him while he does his usual staring, You put down the dish you were working on and being to stare at your silly boyfriend. You surely thought as soon as you meet his gazed, he'll shyly look away and joke about how you might think hes a weirdo for staring at you so much, ya know something to share a giggle over.............but..........he doesn't look away.

You stare straight at him, and he doesn't even blink....hes just....staring at you with a cute smile. His expression was soft, as like if he was in true bliss. You didn't know how to feel about it, it was cute but also.....creepy. You walk towards him while maintaining eye contact, thinking to yourself "....maybe he unconsciously stares... right?" You get closer to him, His pupils expanding wider as you kneel down to his level. You're now sitting in front of him, only a small space between the two of you. You gulp quietly, "uhm, baki....are you there?" his smile grows wider."Of course I'm here. Where else would I be? he innocently says while leaning closer. You nervously chuckle. " Heh....you sure do love to stare....heh."

Baki continues to stare deeply into your eyes for what felt like an hour. You weren't even sure if he was breathing anymore, making you feel even more unnerve. He slowly wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to him, "Only at the things that I love," he says softly. He nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck, letting out a small "hmmm."

You slowly return the hug, still not knowing how to feel about this situation. You nervously chuckle to yourself. "......aw.....how um sweet of you baki.....heh". The two of you hug for what felt like a decade, the only sound being your breathing and his heart beating. You realized you needed to pee." Hey, baki?.....I need to use the bathroom." He didn't say anything at first, but he slowly begins to release you from his hug, removing his head from your neck, still staring at you with those big innocent eyes.

"I love y/n," he's says so softly it was almost like a whisper. Your expression softness, despite how odd he's been acting. You take a deep breath and smile softly. He might be a little odd, but he's still your boyfriend. "I love you too, baki." You give him a small kiss on his forehead.

You can tell it caught him off guard. He starts blushing and cheesing like an idiot. You get up and head off to the bathroom, still being able to feel the loving gazed of your cute but odd boyfriend.......Baki Hanma

------------------------------------------------------- In conclusion, baki's staring isn't meant to be creepy.....he just enamored by you and wants to watch your every move.......it's innocent.

In the next part, we will go over how Jack Hanma displays this odd behavior

[girlboypersonthingy]

Hiya!! Love your work so much😆

I was wondering if you’d write something where the paladins (especially keith hehe) have to go to a formal event like a gala to bring the coalition together (??) and how they’d ask y/n to be their date and/or how they’d react to y/n in their formal attire?? (maybe even add Matt too if you feel inspired) Thank youuu 🫶

Brooooo stoooppppp I am so weak for this idea holy shit 😩 And you are my first non anon request so THANKS FRIEND 🥹 I went with my three fav paladins 💙❤️💚AND Mattie boy 🧡Also I love writing with emojis, sorry not sorry. ENJOY DARLING~

KEITH ❤️

OH MY GOD POOR LITTLE SHY BABY BOY

He waits until the last minute to ask you, let’s be honest. Like a day before the event, he’s sitting beside you in the training room, trying to catch his breath when he goes “So that thing tomorrow. Wanna go together?” And you’re like 😏 “Are you asking me to be your date?” And now he’s like 🙄 “Shut up before I change my mind.”

It’s silent for a second but he’s staring at you. “So, are you gonna answer my question?” “Yes, Keith. I’ll be your date to the gala.” And he’s bright red in the face now.

He tries to act all cool and mysterious as you both leave the training deck and go opposite ways. As soon as you’re out of sight, he’s SPRINTING to Lance’s room.

“HELP I HAVE A DATE AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO ROMANCE!!!” 😰

He’s so fucking annoyed as he spends hours trying to memorize and properly recite pick up lines to Lance as practice.

He also totally does not steal a bottle of cologne from Lance’s bathroom before he leaves.

The morning of, he finds Shiro for wardrobe assistance. Big brother Shiro totally cleans Keith up, giving him a more semi-formal look. Keith thinks he’s too cool for a coat and tie. Shiro also convinces Keith to pull his hair back into a low pony tail.

He decides he’s just too nervous to meet you at your room so he kinda just sits on his bed for a while, fully dressed and smelling great and waiting for you.

Finally you step into his open door way, instantly catching his attention. He stands quickly, almost stumbling over his own feet as he approaches you, admiring your look for the evening.

“OH WOW. Oh…Uh…sorry. You look really nice.” You look so nice he’s stressed out about it like wtf why are you so gorgeous? He thinks you’re sooooo far out of his league.

“I like your hair pulled back like that.” You smile at him and he thinks he might just spontaneously combust rn.

He keeps his arm linked with yours as you walk together to the front of the castle where all the guests are.

Once there, you mostly hang out together or with the other paladins. You’re both kind of shy and you find comfort in being together. You’re like the two emo kids at prom who just stand against the wall and complain about the lame music.

At some point, you two disappeared from the party. Allura and Shiro are like Hello? Where did they go? Shiro wanders outside to look for you only to find you both laying on your backs in the grass right outside the castle’s front entrance, staring up at the sky. He smiles as he hears you laughing at something Keith said.

“Im serious! Lance told me to say ‘even in zero gravity, I’d still fall for you’.” “BOOOOO that’s a terrible line!” You laugh up to the dark night sky.

His hand moves slowly to the side until it meets yours. When you feel the touch, you link your pinky finger with his and look over at him. He’s still staring up at the stars as a smile grows across his face.

He was so worried about disappointing you tonight, he just wanted to charm you. But he didn’t need pick up lines or fancy clothes to make you smile. Just being his normal self seemed to make you happy.

LANCE 💙

You guessed it…Lance is going all out for you.

The morning that they are told about it from Allura, he’s literally interrupting the whole meeting to ask you to be his date.

Freaking cheese ball gets down on one knee, takes your hand and kisses the back of it softly. When he looks up at you, he’s got that flirty smirk on his thin lips. “Would you, (Y/N), make me the happiest man in the universe and be my date to the coalition gala?”

You: 😍🥵🤭

Lance: 😘😏😎

Everyone else: 🤢🫣🙄

Obvi, you say yes with dreamy eyes and a goofy smile on your face.

You thought it was cute that he asked you even though you’ve been dating for a while now. You just assumed you’d be going together anyways. What a sweet boy~

While you’re feeling fine about the whole thing, Lance is freaking out. He’s digging through his clothes looking for something fancy to wear, he’s doing double face masks, he’s forcing Pidge to smell different colognes and help him pick the best one, he’s practicing his slow dance AND his salsa skills. Keep in mind, the gala isn’t for another week but he needs to get prepared NOW!

“There’s not even gonna be music, idiot. It’s a gala, not prom. When are you two even gonna have the chance to do the lift from dirty dancing?” “SHUT UP, PIDGE! IT’LL HAPPEN!!!”

He just wants to impress you so bad. It’s his top priority at the moment.

The night of the event, he’s freshly showered, dressed for the gods, smelling like a whole bath and body works and he’s sitting in your room keeping you company while you get ready.

“Lance, the gala doesn’t start for another 4 hours. Why are you- nevermind. Forget it. You look great.” And he gets so excited at the compliment.

He watches as you get ready. He’s not as talkative as he usually is.

“You okay?” He nods with a dopey grin on his face. He’s just admiring you, that’s all. A compliment leaves his mouth like every 5 minutes as you continue to get all dolled up.

He follows along side you all the way there, his hand is in yours and it’s SWEATY. He’s so nervous.

Once you’re there, his attention span is that of a gold fish. He’s so excited and chatty and asking people questions and he never fails to introduce you to everyone…every single person…S E P A R A T E L Y. He just wants to brag.

“This fine little honey right here…yeah, all mine. I know what you’re thinking, how’d I get so lucky? I ask myself that every day.” What a sap omfg

He notices you’re looking less than happy, kind of tired. Your social battery is at like 5%. He can tell you need a break.

As you’re standing beside Allura, listening to her talk to an ally of the coalition, Lance grabs your hand and pulls you away. You’re running behind him just to keep up with his long legs.

“Where are we going?” “You’ll see.”

THIS MF SET UP FAIRY LIGHTS AND MUSIC AND CANDLES IN HIS ROOM. BRO IS LITERALLY SUCH A HOPELESS ROMANTIC I CANT DEAL WITH IT. That’s why he came to your room so early. He didn’t wanna risk you coming in to his room and seeing everything.

You might think this is so extra but if Lance is anything, it’s extra. He takes any chance he can to make you smile and feel special. He’s so sweet, it’s disgusting.

“I just really wanna dance with you, (Y/N)…” “You did all this…for me?” He nods with a shy smile, bitting his lip as he watches for your reaction. You’re over the moon, your smile uncontrollable now.

So you dance together for a couple songs. He gently caresses your back as he sways with you, occasionally letting his hands roam to your hips. At this point, his cheeks hurt from how hard he’s smiling. It’s cute and sweet and innocent and you’ve never loved him more.

PIDGE 💚

LMAO PIDGE WILL NOT EVEN ASK YOU.

Bc they’re too shy for that romantic shit.

They’re like “Who else would they go with? I’m not worried.”

They assume y’all are going together bc you’re obviously more than just friends.

They will get dressed up nice for you tho. They know everyone else will be dressed up too but they secretly WANT to make you swoon over them. Like plz feed their ego.

They actually go to Hunk for help with their wardrobe. Hunk is the best wingman to ever exist, change my mind. Also, they are really unsure whether they want to wear something more masculine or more feminine and they really trust Hunk with the topic of their gender identity.

“Hey, you guys ready?” You pop into Hunk’s room, all dressed up and ready to go.

“Almost! Hunk is just helping me with the zipper on-“ Once Pidge lays eyes on you, the little gears in their head stop completely. It’s like everything else faded away as they looked you up and down. You’re so angelic, wow oh wow.

“Aww, Pidge! You look stunning.” Aaaaand you broke them. You’re gonna have to turn them off and restart them.

“Uh yeah, you’re good now.” Hunk assures and nudges Pidge back to reality. “Go.” He whispers as he ushers them to move towards you.

You walk together in complete silence, your arm linked with theirs. Finally, they speak up first.

“Are you nervous?” “Yeah, are you?” “Yeah…” “I hate parties.” “Me too.”

So together you devise a plan: you’re gonna sneak around and pull silly little pranks on people and just eat all the food you can get your grubby little hands on.

And you do exactly that. You’re both having so much fun! You’re laughing so hard you’re snorting. You’re far from nervous now.

Pidge is the best at breaking you out of your shell and making you feel comfortable. You can be your true, authentic self around them. They are your best friend first and your ✨partner�� second.

After a while, you two sneak off to their room to play video games. The food was good and the pranks were hilarious but you had both had enough.

As soon as the door shuts behind you, you’re both ripping off your uncomfortable fancy clothes and changing into pajamas.

You’re sitting beside them, watching the loading screen for the game. It’s taking a while…

“So…what do I have to do to get you to stare at me like that again?” Pidge whips their head around, watching you with nervous eyes. They take a deep breath before they speak. “I always stare at you like that. You’ve just never noticed.” “AAAAWWWWWWWW REALLY?!”

Forget the video game. CUE THE CUDDLEFEST!!! 💚💚💚

MATT 🧡

Matt literally goes like this: 😌👉🏻👈🏻 “Hey…uhm hey…wanna be my date to the gala tomorrow?” *blushies*

And you’re like “Matthew, we’ve been dating for 8 months.” “Yeah, so?” You sigh heavily. “Yes, I’ll be your date, you dork.”

He doesn’t go to anyone for help with anything. Man is so confident and he knows you love him no matter what he looks like.

But of course he cleans up for you. He dresses up all formal and uses mouth wash like 10 times. He puts on so much lotion. He got some from Lance bc his hands are always so dry. He just wants to hold your soft hand in his own soft hand, ya know?

He’s waiting outside your door for a while, giving you privacy while you get ready but being right there for you when you’re done.

Once your door slides open, he turns and now he’s looking at you like he just won the lottery.

“HOT DAMN, YOU ARE SO FINE! What did I ever do to deserve you? Oh my god, you’re so perfect. You are the most perfect thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on, did you know that? I swear, you are so precious-“ “Maaattttt, stooooopppppp.” You’re blushing so hard rn and he LOVES IT.

He walks with his arm around your shoulders, chatting with you about who is attending the event tonight and the importance of it all.

You sort of follow him around most the night, not doing much of the talking bc you’d rather listen to him talk.

He is so intelligent, just like Pidge. He uses words so big you cant even begin to imagine what half of them mean. He was so smooth with his words, the way he could spit facts about anything and everything without a second thought took your breath away.

At some point, you lost him in the crowd. He was busy, he was working to protect the universe. You understand. This is more than just a party.

You wander outside for some fresh air and a break from all the loud banter. Matt is meeting you out there within minutes.

“Hey. You alright?” He rests a hand on your upper back, rubbing his thumb back and forth between your shoulder blades. “Yep! Just…need a break.” “Yeah, I get it. It’s overwhelming.”

He turns and looks over his shoulder before he waves, a big smile on his face. “Oh hey! Yeah, this is (Y/N), my partner. The one I was telling you about.” He’s introducing you to an ally of the coalition who he’d just met earlier this evening.

You can’t help but smile, your heart pounding in your chest. He was talking about you to someone here tonight? What was he saying? Did he just call you his partner??? You’ve never actually heard him call you that. You’re so blushy and flattered and happy.

After a brief meeting, the visitor leaves you two alone. You pull Matt into a hug, squeezing him as tight as you can.

“You know I love you, right?” “Yes. You know I love YOU, right?” “Yeah, I know.” “Good, don’t you ever forget it.” You can decide who said what. Either way, y’all are so in love it’s not even funny.

[prettyboykatsuki]

what is your skull cavern strat? i feel like i spend way too long in there to ever really get enough loot (i’ve already done the related quests i just wanna get perfection already 😭😭)

okay im gonna try to sum it up in key points so its easy 2 follow.

you need to go on highest luck days only.

you need your axe to be upgraded, at MINIMUM, gold. but you shouldnt be using it often though but if you do need to use it - it needs to be fast.

you need to bring bombs and you need to bring a good weapon. if you dont have the galaxy sword, spend the 25k gold and get the lava katana from the adventurers guild

YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED TO BRING FOOD. i think this is obvious but not just food, drinks too. goldstar cheese or salads from gus are preferred.

your main stats are +luck and +speed. you can only have one food buff active at a time, but you can get buffs from drinks. my combo is the spicy eel (available at dessert trader in exchange for rubies) and a triple shot espresso (takes three coffees to make) but you can do things like a lucky lunch, a pumpkin soup, a ginger ale etc

personally though i think spicy eel and triple espresso work best and they're pretty easy to get up to this point in the game.

you need to get there as EARLY as you possible can. im talking you need to forfeit your day plans and drop everything to go do a run. the desert trader has warp totems for calico desert in exchange for omnigeodes, buy them BEFORE your plan to run- they are always available.

(you'll also want a warp totem for the farm so you can pass out closer to home. you could pass out in there but the former is easier for me lol)

as for strat itself - the key thing in the skull caverns is that you're trying to get as far down as you can possibly go.

now, there are some ways to do this to circumvent having to find shafts and holes to jump in. specifically - people make sheds of crystalarium with jades to trade for staircases at the desert trader. but this takes sooooo much fucking set up lmao so i dont often bother with it. if you want to get down quickly in one go, its a good method but it takes a long time to get up and running.

but you can get pretty far down if you just focus on getting down as far as possible. don't clear floors unless you're really really low already. if there's a spot with a shit ton of ore thats easy to blow up, then you can stop and do it then but for the most part time is money.

it seems counterintuitive but you will accumulate a lot of stuff simply breaking rocks with bombs and picking them up while you get down. it is not like the normal mines so its best to just ignore any ore that would take up a lot of time.

so the strat is place a bomb, find a ladder or shaft, jump in and repeat. stop to get easy ore but focus on going down. always take shafts over ladders and make sure to heal up because you do take fall damage.

also if you're struggling to find a ladder, try killing mobs. it is much, much more lucrative to do it in skull caverns and the drops are extremely good depending on the monster.

also keep in mind that time runs about 25 percent slower in the caverns compared to a normal day so try not to stress too much.

its pretty easy to have a good run if you just keep all of this in mind. the hardest thing imo is getting bombs

personally i don't like buying them so i usually just craft them but if you buy them it gets costly fast. you can always replenish your reserve for ore but money can be tricky. thats just me.

ANYWAYS. GOOD LUCK 🫡🫡

[teruthecreator]

terumob and ritshou are so funny to me bc you have this dyamic of one very like. successful/powerful/rich person going absolutely head over heels for the most average fuck out there. 

like teru is a relatively popular, handsome, rich (judging by the fact that he lives alone in an apartment) kid who literally every girl fawns after. but then you catch him giggling at his phone as he texts mob, who is just responding like “okay.” “yeah.” “oh okay.”. giving absolutely Nothing but teru is so cheesed over this guy who loves milk and frogs. there are so many canonical moments of teru being so fucking smitten over mob being just like. average. and ordinary. like i know thats the whole “ur not special bc ur an esper” thing but i also find it incredibly funny that teru took it so to heart that mob’s averageness has become so appealing to him

meanwhile shou is the son of a powerful man, one of the Most powerful men in fact, with enough influence and wealth to form his own terrorist organization that was set to span worldwide. and he literally lights up like a goddamn puppydog whenever ritsu’s :-/ face comes into view for half a second. he practically pries open the front door to the kageyama house when he sees ritsu is the one who answered it. i have no doubt in my mind that he was thinking “omg its ritsu!!!! yay ritsu!!!!” when he opened that door. he has so much power and wealth, yet he chose the guy who repeatedly has said “i am so normal”, keeps a spoon in his pocket at all times, and has boiled pork as one of his favorite foods 

the kageyama parents probably see those two with their incredibly affluent boyfriends like “hey. at least we got a retirement fund now.  dont know how they managed it but whatever” 

[basu-shokikita]

Dethentines 2024 Day 7

Will you be my Valentine?

Picture me arriving to the finish line wheezing and dying, 'cause that's me right now. I don't know why I thought that finishing the entries on the very same day of posting was a good idea but that's what ended up happening. Never again, hopefully.

Either way, here's my last entry for Dethentines, aka the one that matters the most because it's for Valentine's Day so I made an extra effort and you get a whooping +2k words for today. It's Skwistok, obviously, but the rest of Dethklok get a pretty decent amount of participation because I wanted to go out with a bang. Or try to.

Also, I'm linking to this song for no reason.

Thank you so much for organizing Dethentines this year! I had lots of fun and I'm happy to have managed to participate in all days ✨ See you around~

“And then we does the things like-” Skwisgaar made a high pitched noise. “Like-” He made an explosion sound. “You gets?”

“Right, like-” Nathan made a deep growling noise. “And then-” A boing-like noise followed. “And then some more…”

“Ja!” Skwisgaar nodded enthusiastically. It was really easy to talk about music with Nathan, it’s like they read each other’s minds somehow. “We has to…”

Suddenly, Toki walked into the living room. He stopped right when he saw the two of them. Skwisgaar raised a hand to wave at him, a reluctant smile on his face. However, Toki only frowned in response and left.

“Uh-oh.” Nathan watched Toki’s silhouette slowly get smaller. “What did you do?”

“Eugh…” Skwisgaar let his arm drop on the couch. “He ams mads abouts Vals and Tines days.”

“Valentine’s Day?” Nathan repeated in confusion.

“Ja, he askeds if I wanteds to spends wif hims. Goes ons a dates togethors…dats stuff…”

Nathan waited a moment and, when Skwisgaar didn’t continue, he asked. “And what did you say?”

Skwisgaar winced a little. “I says it was fuckings stupids and jackoffs things whats we donts needs.”

“Woah!” Nathan sat back in shock. “Woah, Skwisgaar!”

“Whats? We ams alreadies togethers sorts of, okeys?” Skwisgaar shrugged. “And Valentines ams dildos” He mumbled. “ I don’ts gets it.”

“Yeah, but Toki likes that shit, remember? He’s, uh…” Nathan struggled to find a word that wouldn’t be offensive. “...Different.”

“Pfft.” Skwisgaar snorted. “Differents ams rights.”

“Besides…” Nathan’s eyes wandered to the living room. “I don’t think it’s that weird to want to do all romantic shit when you’re in love. Love might not be cool at all, but it is pretty brutal.”

Skwisgaar pouted, unable to refute Nathan on that. Discovering his feelings for Toki had been a pretty brutal experience. “I guess you ams rights.”

“You gotta apologize to him, dude.”

“Eugh.” Skwisgaar looked up to the ceiling, unable to find reasons against. 

–

They were having lunch and Toki was too busy finishing up his mountain of spaghetti to notice Skwisgaar had been staring at him for the past 5 minutes. It was late and there was nobody else in the kitchen but them. Well, besides the Klokateers.

Skwisgaar decided to make an attempt. “Toki?” He called him hesitantly.

Toki kept eating as if nothing had happened, slurping loudly and spreading cheese on the pasta like his life depended on it. Frankly, Skwisgaar wasn’t sure Toki had heard him or not.

“Toki?” He called him a second time.

Still nothing, Toki was gulping from his glass of water. “Mores, please!” He said, after slamming the glass on the table.

“Sire!” One Klokateer immediately appeared with a pitcher of water and filled Toki’s glass to the brim.

“Thank yous.” Toki said before he resumed eating.

“Tok-” Skwisgaar decided to cut the bullshit and sat on the seat next to Toki. There was a subtle acknowledgement, as Toki glanced to his side before returning his attention to his food. “Toki, listens.”  Skwisgaar said, gently placing his hand on Toki’s arm. 

Toki kept eating, completely unbothered.

Truth to be told, Skwisgaar wasn’t used to being this ignored, especially not by Toki, so he felt the discouragement in his gut. He cleared his throat. “Ams sorries about de other deis, okeis? I didn’ts…realize how imporkstants it ams was to yous, soes…”

“Dat was goods.” Toki said and Skwisgaar raised his eyes with expectation, but Toki was staring at his now empty dish and rubbing his belly.

He sighed. “Tokis, please, we can does what you wants. I won’ts complains, justs-”

Abruptly, Toki stood up and walked away without looking back. Skwisgaar buried his face in his hands in frustration.

He really fucked things up this time.

“Ye gotta mehk it up to him, dood.” Pickles suddenly spoke behind him and Skwisgaar almost did a somersault from shock.

“Eugh! Pickle!” He glanced at him, horrified. “Whens dids you get heres?”

Pickles grimaced like he was offended. “Dood, I’ve been here de whole time.”

“Huh…” Skwisgaar could not remember for the life of him seeing him here but , oh well. “Waits, what does you means makes it ups to him?” He squinted. “Whats does you knows?”

Pickles snorted, gesturing dismissively with one hand. “Nethan already told me ‘bout it. You broke Toki’s heart, didn’t ye?”

“Wells…” Skwisgaar winced. “I wouldn’ts…puts it like dats…”

“An apology just wahn’t do.” Pickles leaned into Skwisgaar’s ear. “Ye gotta surprise him yourself.” 

“What?” Skwisgaar turned to him in horror. “You means…?”

Smirking, Pickles nodded slowly at him. 

–

Skwisgaar looked at the door with preemptive regret. He was one second away from leaving and forgetting the whole thing. This was his dignity on the line now, nothing to joke about.

Toki’s face flashed in his mind and Skwisgaar closed his eyes in defeat. His breath hitched and his heart raced as he knocked on the door thrice.

It only took a few seconds for it to open, and behind it, a confused Murderface appeared. “Schkwisgaar? What do you want?”

“Is never thots I woulds says dis, Moidaface.” Skwisgaar was already short of breath. “But I needs yous helps.”

Murderface crossed his arms with a scowl. “Thisch better not be a prank.”

“I don’t has time for pranks.” Skwisgaar said as he made his way into Murderface’s room.

“Hey!”

Uncaring, he slammed the door behind him and Murderface gave him a stunned stare. “I needs yous helps now.”

Murderface looked him up and down, like he wasn’t sure what to make of Skwisgaar’s words. “Thisch ischn’t a gay thing, right?”

“Whats?” Skwisgaar was appalled. “N-well, it ams kinds of gays, actuallies.” He sighed. “You ams goods friends with Tokes, rights?”

“I guesch.” Murderface shrugged noncommittally which honestly irritated Skwisgaar but he decided to let it go.

“Does he, eugh…Does he talkeds about Valskentines with yous?”

“Oh,” Murderface rolled his eyes and turned around. “All the fucking time! Me and Schkwisgaar are going to do thisch! Me and Schkwisgaar are going do that! It’sch my firscht Valentinesch ever, Murderface! I’m scho exschited!” He made a disgusted noise. “Made me schick, really.”

The guilt piled up on the pit of Skwisgaar’s stomach. “Does you…remembers any specificks?”

“Uhh, he schaid it would be the firscht date ever for you guysch so he wanted to do everything…” He rested his back against his deck. “Firscht, have breakfascht in bed. Then, go to the petting szchoo to pet the catch. After that, walk in the park while holding handsch and eating…” He shuddered. “Hot dogsch. Then, planetarium vischit to look at the starchs. Then, go to the theater to watch a movie…and then dinner at a fanschy restaurant. He did schpare me the detailsch for the night after that, thank Chrischt.”

“Eugh…” Skwisgaar was impressed. “You shores remembers de hole thingks.”

“Well, he wouldn’t schut up about it!” Murderface defensively and opened the first drawer of his desk. “Look, he even made drawingsch of it!” At once, Murderface spread a bunch of drawings over the top of the desk.

One of the drawings had them petting cats, in another they were walking in the park with the hot dogs, looking at the stars, at a fancy restaurant…there were even some drawings of things Murderface hadn’t described, probably things Toki couldn’t fit into their schedule.

“Why does you has dese?” He asked.

Murderface blinked a couple of times before looking away. “We like drawing together, okay? And he alwaysch leavesch hisch drawingsch here. Idiot.”

“Rights.” Skwisgaar stood up. “I thinks I gots all I needs now, so I’m goingks-”

“Wait, what do I get in exchange?”

“Eugh…Toki’s unconskditionals loves?”

Murderface buffed. “Big deal.” Skwisgaar was walking to the other when he spoke again. “I know it’sch not any of my buschiness but…” Skwisgaar turned to look at him. “He kind of, really likesch you, scho…yeah.”

Unbelievable, even Murderface was lecturing him now. Skwisgaar couldn’t imagine sinking lower. “Rights. Thanks, Moidaface.”

“Whatever.”

Skwisgaar closed the door, a new determination finding its way inside him. 

–

“Whats ams dis?” Toki asked, upon finding a letter next to his plate during breakfast. It was a bronze envelope with a blood red seal. 

“Hm?” Pickles was stuffing oatmeal down his throat. “No idea, dood.”

Toki was skeptical, looking at Nathan and Murderface eat in silence. “Where ams Skwisgaar?”

Nathan, currently attacking a beef steak, replied. “Uhh, probably sleeping? Who knows. It’s Skwisgaar.”

Still not quite convinced, Toki ripped open the envelope and found a letter inside except there was nothing written in it. Just a red guitar vaguely shaped like a heart. “Alrights, who ams doings this? It amsnt funnies.” He asked with irritation. He wasn’t in the mood to get pranked on Valentine’s Day.

“It’sch probably schomething to do with playing the guitar.” Murderface blurted and the other two glared at him. “Or schomething.” He added to save face.

Toki squinted at his friends. “You guys amsnt collsudings togeders, ams you?”

“No.” All three of them said at the same time, which only made it more suspicious.

“We’re just eatin’ our breakfast here.” Pickles said.

“Yeah, why would we care about anything that ischn’t our breakfascht?”

“It’s not like today is a special day or anything.”

Toki got up from the table, unamused. He wasn’t going to bother with this, he would just get to the root of the problem and cut it off. Simple as that. 

“Skwisgaar.” He knocked on his door. “Ams not in de moods for dis okays? Soes just-” The door opened with a creak, revealing an empty bedroom. Toki looked inside, intrigued and found lit red candles melting on the floor. Upon closer inspection, he realized they were skull shaped. 

On the bed, there was a guitar made of red rose petals and a pile of Deaddy Bears in different brutal outfits laid in place of the pillows. The TV was showing ‘Love and Guts 4’ Toki’s favorite horror movie and, under it, there was a box of sugar-free chocolates with a note on them. 

Meets me wheres we first kiss

Toki’s eyes widened upon reading. Did he mean….?

–

He couldn’t help it, he was supposed to be mad but he couldn’t help running towards the location, excitement drumming inside his chest. What was he expecting? What was going to happen? What had Skwisgaar planned?

When he reached the double-door, he found it only marginally open so he grabbed the knob to reveal the inside. 

Skwisgaar was sitting on a stool inside Murderface’s closet, guitar in his hand. He seemed to have been caught off guard because he made a surprised noise when he saw Toki.

Toki tried to catch his breath. “Skwisga-”

Abruptly, Skwisgaar started playing the guitar. First the E, then the G sharp minor, then the C sharp minor, then the A. Then he played the whole sequence again. 

“Does you wanna be mines girls-boyfriends…” He sang unsurely. “We’lls walks to the cemeteries and alls kiss you agains…And makes ours dead friends blushks…We ams getting marrieds right dere on de seens…” He inhaled shakily. “Does you wants to be mines best friends? Yous can drives me crazies alls over agains…And alls bores you death oooh, doesn’ts matters when we ams in love. Rights?” He smiled at a speechless Toki.

Then the guitar got heavier, but Skwisgaar’s eyes were still on Toki. “Does you wanna be mines boyfriends?” He continued. "Does you wanna be mine boyfriends? Does you wanna be mines- Does you wanna be mines?” He stood up and kept playing, now closing the distance between them as he finished up the song. When it ended, he had essentially backed Toki against the wall.

Skwisgaar’s expression softened, the confidence from playing was fading into reluctance. “Ams sorries about everythings, Toki. I didn’ts realize how impskortants dis was to yous. Lets me makes it up to yous. Is calleds reservations fors a restaurants and bookeds de movies and plansetariums, ands the pettings zoo has spots fors us and-” Impulsively, Toki locked their lips together and Skwisgaar lost the trail of his thoughts.

“It ams okay, Skwisgaar.” He said when he pulled away. “I just thoughts you didnts…” He shook his head, smiling. “Doesn’ts matters.” Giggling, he laced their fingers together. “Soes, boysfriend?”

Skwisgaar felt his face heat up from embarrassment. “Dats- Dats what de songs-” He stopped babbling and his face turned solemn instead. “Eugh, ja.” With a heavy swallow, he asked. “Does you wants to be mines boysfriends, Toki?”

Toki’s smile was like a thousand beams directed at once at Skwisgaar. “Ja, I wants to bes your boyfriend, Skwisgaar.”

Smiling back, Skwisgaar brought Toki closer to him. “Cans I kiss mines boyfriends now?”

“You cans.” Toki said, the happiness leaking from his face.

As they wrapped around each other, Skwisgaar felt only slightly bad for the mess they were about to do in Murderface’s closet.

But only slightly.

–

“Well, it sure sounds like they’re havin’ fun.” Pickles commented, ear to the closet door. 

“Now who’sch gonna clean after them!” Murderface complained. “My closchet isch gonna be dischguschting!”

“Murderface, you don’t even clean your own room.” Nathan countered, already looking tired. 

“Yeah, well, neither do you!”

“Yeah, ‘cause we’re fucking rich. Just call a Klokateer to get it done.”

“I guesch!”

The closet door banged so loudly that all three of them jolted.

“Okei!” Pickles clasped his hands together. “Who wants t' get wasted to feel less miserable on Valentine’s Day!”

“Me!” Nathan and Murderface replied in unison. 

“Let’s leave the lovebirds, then.” Pickles made an example as he walked away from the closet and the two soon followed him.

“Fuck Valentine’sch Day!” Murderface said.

“Yeah, it’s capitalism brutality, and not the kind that benefits us.” Nathan agreed.

“It’s stoopid as hell, like whoa! I’m in love! Big deal!” Pickles threw his hands into the air.

“Yeah.”

“Totally.”

They smiled at each other. Seriously, fuck Valentine’s Day.